That’ll be $6079 (US dollars) and a honey glazed ham, thanks.
A thousand pardons, Mein Führer. I’ll be sure to notify you of my annual leave in advance henceforth. 卐
I apologize for the colossal delay, I was out gettin’ some.Tacos. I was getting some tacos.
Well mother dearest, if you must know, I’ve been busy sowing my wild oats.
And by that, I quite literally mean planting uncultivated cereal grains.
Instead of always actively increasing my libido with vivid thoughts about fucking, I should really actually utilise that mental energy on more imperative matters, such as my purpose in this life and the future that lies ahead or something.
|—||To anyone I’m romantically affiliated with who rejects the notion of Ben and Jerrys as an appropriate meal for a date.|
Whenever you feel like utter rat shit, just remember you could’ve been Bulgarian and had a bunch of
dehydrated cats tasteful and highly talented vocalists represent your country in Eurovision in 2009.
Alright, Rihanna. I may just take you up on that this time.